New space agency

Routers reports -

The Earth is excited (and rightly so) at the formation of a new centre for scientific excellence:

The North A'Scotland Space Agency

or NA'SSA

Despite being created on a typically frugal Scottish budget of under £25.00, the group is already proving to be a key player in the furtherance of mankind's knowledge of the universe.

This is verified by the following staggeringly amazing achievements, as quoted by Dr. Jones, the agency's chief scientist, mathematician, spokespersonman, astronot, fund raiser, bottle-washer and general dogsbody:

• Just like NASA, we've never landed anyone or anything on the Moon.
• Just like NASA, we've never gotten near the Moon, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn or Mars.
• Just like NASA, we've photographed something we've called a comet (or an asteroid, or whatever).
• Just like NASA, we can claim that artists' impressions are produced by some sort of 'space telescope'.
• Just like Neil Armstrong, we never talk to anyone about what we've done (or not done).

Prof. Steve Jones (not to be confused with the madman who rants about organic evolution being a 'fact') has already equalled NASA when it comes to Grabbing A Ready Backdrop And Generating Exposures (or GARBAGE), as Fig. 1 clearly demonstrates.

Figure 1: Two missions for the price of none. (Produced from genuine Americon NASA fabrication photos.)

Obviously, NA'SSA will be of enormous benefit to this impoverished region of the World, where the main topic of conversation is the proposed erection of yet another wind farm.

Dr. Jones states, "We are confident that we can adequately keep pace with our Americon cousins without the inconvenience of having to pretend to launch space probes. This has an important side effect, in that we don't need to take up any of this wonderfully boggy, rocky wasteland here in the North A'Scotland - land which could otherwise be used for a wind farm. This, of course, means that the value of our shares in wind farm development companies will not be adversely affected by the building of rocket launch pads nor the provision of a TV stage for 50 balding, bespectacled geezers pointing pencils at computer monitors."